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Miracles!

They rolled Robin Gibb out during the Florence + The Machine set and her mellifluous voice woke him from his coma!!!!  What a way to end Coachella 2012 — see ya clowns next anée!

Oh and I just found out Nelson went back to L.A. with Wilmer Valderrama and the cast of iCarly, so can anyone give me a ride?  I’ll pay you back in friendship.

I can’t believe they hologram-ed in the sandal guy during the Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg show!!!!!!!

Gotye

Gotye is currently on his 214th round of “Somebody That I Used to Know.”  They pulled the plug on him an hour ago but the man will not stop.

Radiohead

I shouted “PLAY KARMA POLICE” during Radiohead’s set.  The crowd was too apathetic to even turn their heads, but I knew that disdainful look still came across their faces.  I could feel it.

Still no sign of Nelson the Shaman.  Maybe I’ll check lost and found.

Lenny Kravitz just twisted my arm to let him rainbow ombre dye my hair.  I mean, if he can do a CGI makeover how hard should it be to do it with bleach?  Right?  Right??
I did however put my foot down when Rooney Mara offered to pierce my nipple.  Listen, if it doesn’t come with a movie franchise, kickass short bangs, and optimal BMI then I aint buyin.

Lenny Kravitz just twisted my arm to let him rainbow ombre dye my hair.  I mean, if he can do a CGI makeover how hard should it be to do it with bleach?  Right?  Right??

I did however put my foot down when Rooney Mara offered to pierce my nipple.  Listen, if it doesn’t come with a movie franchise, kickass short bangs, and optimal BMI then I aint buyin.

Wheel of Fortune

Am playing iPhone Wheel of Fortune with SBTRKT.  He’s won every round without buying one vowel.  What a pro.  Miike Snow on the other hand… DUDE.  THIS ISN’T AN IKEA CATALOGUE.  THIS IS AMERICA… A REALLY, REALLY, WEIRD CROSS SECTION OF AMERICA.

We Were Promised Jetpacks

And we’re still waiting on them.  The crowd’s still pretty restless and their gig was hours ago.  Don’t make any more empty promises, We Were Promised Jetpacks.  You saw what happened when Lea Michele promised to save my spot in the Nana’s Homemade Naan line.  Curry to the face.

Wolf Gang

Wore my powdered wig to Wolf Gang for naught — or so I thought.  Suddenly out of nowhere the crowd parted and Zooey Deschanel rode up to me on a beach cruiser the same color as her anime eyes.  She said “ThAt’S sO qUiRkY!” and snapped a pic with her 1963 Polaroid camera.  I HOPE I MAKE IT ON THE FRONT PAGE OF HELLO GIGGLES!  PLS PRAY.

Who knew M83 was so hardcore??????

(Source: ianbrooks, via southey)

Seacrest, On

Ryan Seacrest jumped on my shoulders at the Black Keys show to get a better view, and hasn’t gotten off since.  Meanwhile, the last time I saw Nelson the Shaman was when he went to pray at the Alter of the Desert Goddess Kate Bosworth next to the Heineken cooling tent.  He hasn’t been back since, and I guess forgot that our lost rendezvous point was Sunset Blossom Vegan Gluten-Free Fruit-Fruit Free Smoothies.

Miracles!

They rolled Robin Gibb out during the Florence + The Machine set and her mellifluous voice woke him from his coma!!!!  What a way to end Coachella 2012 — see ya clowns next anée!

Oh and I just found out Nelson went back to L.A. with Wilmer Valderrama and the cast of iCarly, so can anyone give me a ride?  I’ll pay you back in friendship.

I can’t believe they hologram-ed in the sandal guy during the Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg show!!!!!!!

Gotye

Gotye is currently on his 214th round of “Somebody That I Used to Know.”  They pulled the plug on him an hour ago but the man will not stop.

Radiohead

I shouted “PLAY KARMA POLICE” during Radiohead’s set.  The crowd was too apathetic to even turn their heads, but I knew that disdainful look still came across their faces.  I could feel it.

Still no sign of Nelson the Shaman.  Maybe I’ll check lost and found.

Lenny Kravitz just twisted my arm to let him rainbow ombre dye my hair.  I mean, if he can do a CGI makeover how hard should it be to do it with bleach?  Right?  Right??
I did however put my foot down when Rooney Mara offered to pierce my nipple.  Listen, if it doesn’t come with a movie franchise, kickass short bangs, and optimal BMI then I aint buyin.

Lenny Kravitz just twisted my arm to let him rainbow ombre dye my hair.  I mean, if he can do a CGI makeover how hard should it be to do it with bleach?  Right?  Right??

I did however put my foot down when Rooney Mara offered to pierce my nipple.  Listen, if it doesn’t come with a movie franchise, kickass short bangs, and optimal BMI then I aint buyin.

Wheel of Fortune

Am playing iPhone Wheel of Fortune with SBTRKT.  He’s won every round without buying one vowel.  What a pro.  Miike Snow on the other hand… DUDE.  THIS ISN’T AN IKEA CATALOGUE.  THIS IS AMERICA… A REALLY, REALLY, WEIRD CROSS SECTION OF AMERICA.

We Were Promised Jetpacks

And we’re still waiting on them.  The crowd’s still pretty restless and their gig was hours ago.  Don’t make any more empty promises, We Were Promised Jetpacks.  You saw what happened when Lea Michele promised to save my spot in the Nana’s Homemade Naan line.  Curry to the face.

Wolf Gang

Wore my powdered wig to Wolf Gang for naught — or so I thought.  Suddenly out of nowhere the crowd parted and Zooey Deschanel rode up to me on a beach cruiser the same color as her anime eyes.  She said “ThAt’S sO qUiRkY!” and snapped a pic with her 1963 Polaroid camera.  I HOPE I MAKE IT ON THE FRONT PAGE OF HELLO GIGGLES!  PLS PRAY.

Who knew M83 was so hardcore??????

(Source: ianbrooks, via southey)

Seacrest, On

Ryan Seacrest jumped on my shoulders at the Black Keys show to get a better view, and hasn’t gotten off since.  Meanwhile, the last time I saw Nelson the Shaman was when he went to pray at the Alter of the Desert Goddess Kate Bosworth next to the Heineken cooling tent.  He hasn’t been back since, and I guess forgot that our lost rendezvous point was Sunset Blossom Vegan Gluten-Free Fruit-Fruit Free Smoothies.

Miracles!
Gotye
Radiohead
Wheel of Fortune
We Were Promised Jetpacks
Wolf Gang
Seacrest, On

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Bringing you up to the minute live recaps from all the biggest events. May or may not occur only in my head. It may.

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